


The Summer Before

by maycollins



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4479941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maycollins/pseuds/maycollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The summer before year nine, Hero Duke met John Donaldson<br/>The summer before year ten, Hero Duke went to a crazy Christmas party.<br/>The summer before year eleven, Hero Duke hosted a movie marathon.<br/>The summer before year twelve, Hero Duke had a very special midnight kiss.<br/>The summer before year thirteen, Hero Duke wasn't still angry.<br/>The summer before uni, Hero Duke was afraid to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Summer Before

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know if I ship this ship, but I just really wanted to write this, so...

Year Nine:

Hero flitted over to Pedro's new brother with a grin on her face. It had been a week since John arrived, and Ann had got together with Mum and Mumma to plan a small dinner party for the two families.

"I think he's having some trouble adjusting. It would be nice if he could meet some people in a more controlled setting, you know," Ann had explained, confiding, "I just really want to make this work."

And that all seemed perfectly good; of course the Dukes would do anything to help out the Donaldson's, and Hero was always so reserved; she could use a new friend. So Mum and Mumma and Leo and Hero spent all day baking and cooking their contributions, and when the evening came, they arrived perfectly on time to the awkward get together.

Pedro was nowhere in sight. Maybe he was the one having trouble adjusting.

And Leo seemed to want to be anywhere but trapped between a bunch of adults and a couple year nines.

And Hero, well she wasn't the biggest fan of parties, even small ones like this. Still, she pasted a smile on her face because she knew it was expected. Because she was Hero Duke, the strong survivor who brightened people's day with just a curve of the lips.

"Hello. I'm Hero," she said, sitting next to the dark haired boy.

"John," he replied in a monotone, not bothering to look up.

"I heard you're starting year nine in January like me," she continued, finding it somehow easier to talk to him than even Pedro. Something about his silence calmed her nerves, stripped away the expectations of what she was supposed to say.

"I guess. The levels here are strange."

"That's true," Hero giggled, "I think they're a bit different from other places, but I think you'll come to like Messina. It's a nice place."

"It's too hot, and the people smile too much. What the fuck do they have to be so happy about?"

Hero tried not to let the language bother her; after all, she was 13 years old. She should have been used to hearing swears. She slowly let the smile drop from her face, leaning in a little closer so the adults wouldn't hear.

"I honestly don't know at all, but it's better if you just keep telling yourself it will be okay. It makes it easier."

"A cheesy little slogan isn't going to bring my mum back to life or make my brother acknowledge my existence or really change a single thing," he hissed.

And Hero didn't have any sage advice. She didn't have any encouragements or life lessons to share. She was barely holding it together herself, already putting all her energy into hating herself for blending into the wall and just trying to blend further. Nothing positive she said could have been true, and she could see that John was a master of weeding out the lies.

"I'm sorry," was all she said, because it was all she felt.

And as it turned out, it was all John really needed to hear.

~oOo~

Year Ten:

"This is my cousin Beatrice," Hero excitedly introduced her two best friends. "This is John Donaldson; he's Pedro's brother."

There was a Christmas party next week, but that was too long to wait to introduce them. Hero wanted Beatrice to start getting to know John now. And anyways, the party would be weird. John and Pedro still weren't on the best of terms, and Ben and Bea seemed to have had some falling out last summer, and everyone else was just starting to get their footing around each other.

There was Meg and Ursula and Robbie and Balthazar and Claudio all still trying to find their dynamic, and Hero didn't want to put John and Bea's introduction in the middle of all that. Both meant too much to just be clumped in with a bunch of new people.

At first, it was a little awkward. John was quiet like Hero while Bea just talked and talked, and it didn't feel like any progress was being made except that John now knew the entire plot of the sixth season of Doctor Who and Hero had learned exactly 10 reasons "why Benedick is a total dick and I never want to see him again."

She didn't have much hope that things would be mended at the party, and her fears were confirmed when bottles were being handed out before she'd even walked through the door. In an uncharacteristic move that she would later blame on nerves, she chose not to politely decline like she usually did, tightly grasping the cold bottle so hard that her knuckles turned white.

Beatrice didn't even see what her cousin was holding before she was whisked off by Pedro to dance for a bit, leaving Hero all by herself surrounded by far too many people and music that was way too loud.

She took a sip, and it was all she could do not to spit it out immediately, it tasted so bad. Still the crowd pressed closer, and she took another sip for lack of anything better to do. She scanned the crowd for any sight of her cousin or John or even Pedro or Ursula, but every face seemed foreign.

Then a hand found hers and was pulling her through the crowded room until they broke out into the fresh night air. She took another sip before glancing up to see the glowing face of her rescuer in the light of the full moon.

"Thanks Claudio," she smiled, "it was really starting to feel a little crowded in there."

He returned a grin with perhaps more sincerity than her own. "No problem. Is this your first party like this? Because it's mine, and it's kind of extremely terrifying."

"Yeah. I generally keep to smaller gatherings with far fewer drunk teenagers." She sat down on the porch steps, and Claudio followed her lead. She took another sip from her now half empty bottle, and Claudio drank from his. A sort of cloudiness already seemed to be entering her mind, and she thought about how maybe she shouldn't drink anymore because her tolerance was probably really low. Then Claudio finished his bottle, and she figured she could at least drink the rest of hers.

She almost immediately knew that was a bad decision when she could barely stand to reenter the party, and Claudio was no help, seemingly as prone to the affects of alcoholic beverages as she was. He just kind of sat and laughed as she struggled to rise, finally managing to get the door open and slip inside.

It seemed to have grown since she'd gone for air, and it seemed almost futile to search the crowd for anyone. Instead, she stumbled her way up the steep staircase, hoping that maybe there would be some quiet there. She followed voices drifting down the hallway.

"Next year, we're not letting Robbie host. This is a fucking trainwreck, and I can't even find Hero. This was supposed to be just a few of us hanging out." Bea's voice carried loudest of all, followed by an equally sharp tone.

"You were having plenty of fun just a few minutes ago," came Benedick's mildly intoxicated reply.

"Guys, there's no need to fight," came Pedro's mediation. "I'm sure Hero's fine."

"I can go - " but John was interrupted by his brother.

"I mean, I'm sure she's just having a great time enjoying the party."

It would have been futile to tell him that she wasn't necessarily a party person, or that she'd been terrified and alone rather than having a great time.

Instead, she tried her best to appear alright as she wandered into the room from which the conversation was coming. Tried, of course being the operative word. It maybe would have been more convincing if tears weren't unknowingly streaming down her face, or if the ground didn't feel like it was swaying underneath her.

"Do you see now, Ben!" Beatrice exclaimed, "she's fucking drunk. I knew this was a terrible idea." Her vocabulary recently really did seem to have expanded to include many variations of a word beginning with "f." Only, she seemed too caught up in arguing to notice that Hero had sunk to the ground or that John was already by her side.

"I just want to go home," she whispered so only those really listening could hear. As it turned out, only one person fit that criteria.

"Can you stand?" his directness was refreshing, and she nodded, though when she tried to stand, the room went back to rocking. "That seems like a no," he tried to force a smile.

John turned to the rest of the room. "I'm going to call Leo."

All heads swiveled toward him, but no one protested. Somewhere, they all kind of knew that there weren't any better options.

When the furious older brother burst into the tiny bedroom, John helped pull Hero to her feet, immediately apologizing.

"I'm sorry; we should have been looking out for her better," he said, not daring to meet Leo's eyes, but the older boy just patted him gently on the shoulder.

"She's capable of making her own decisions; she doesn't need a babysitter," he replied, but his voice still sounded harsh.

John helped the still rocking Hero to her feet, helping her all the way to her brother's car while he tried to talk the rest of the teenagers into just calling it a night. The girl felt heavier than she looked with all her weight against his side, but he didn't really mind holding her up. As she collapsed into the back seat, he leaned down to strap her seat belt in.

"A really cute boy helped me today," she slurred, "C-Cla-Claudio."

"That sounds wonderful," John responded gently, and she giggled.

"Don't be jealous," she continued to laugh, "I like you better."

Then she leaned up to kiss him, and it felt so right that he took perhaps a second too long to pull away.

"We can talk about this tomorrow when you're feeling better."

But he knew she wouldn't remember a thing, and that was probably for the best. If she let him, he would ruin her, dragging her down and breaking her heart until there was nothing left of either of them.

~oOo~

Year Eleven:

Hero decided to take over the Christmas Party planning this year, so of course, there was no shortage of homemade cookies and classic movies and every holiday song ever written. And absolutely no alcohol.

John and Pedro showed up early in the morning to help set up, and they seemed to be getting along really well. Maybe the Christmas spirit had finally captured them.

Bea proved absolutely useless, unless you count sitting in the middle of the couch eating "chocolate salad" and occasionally offering it to the hardworking bakers as helpful. She seemed to, laughing about what hard work they were going through just to have a few friends over.

And it really was only a few. After last year, Hero didn't want to make any mistakes, so although she hated to exclude anyone, the guest list had been carefully narrowed to include only the Donaldsons, the Dukes, Ben (against Bea's stronger protests), Claudio, Balthazar, Meg, and Ursula.

Now, Christmas music was playing as loud as the speakers would go while Hero and Bea twirled enthusiastically around the living room. Despite all their best efforts, the boys would not join, and eventually the cousins flopped onto the couches, tired and defeated. Beatrice lounged across an entire loveseat, while Hero leaned into John on another and Pedro sat in a chair just between the two.

"So Hero, I heard you invited Claudio?" Pedro inquired, not at all subtley. "Any particular reason."

Hero tried her best to fake nonchalance as she felt John stiffen under her. Apparently this was a sore point for him, but she couldn't imagine why. Well, she understood jealousy of some kind might be at play, but of Claudio?

"He didn't have anything else planned over the holidays, and he's been around more this year because of Leo and football, so I thought I might invite him. I didn't think that would be a problem."

"It's not," John answered, and Pedro seconded, and all four went back to baking because they hadn't even started on the brownies yet.

That night, John and Pedro told their parents they were staying overnight to help Hero and Bea clean up, but little cleaning really got done. Instead Bea and Pedro decided to enjoy the cool evening with a walk on the beach.

And although John and Hero tried tidying a bit at first, it all just seemed like a job for tomorrow. They ended up curled into Hero's bed with a laptop between them, watching just one more Christmas movie. The credits hadn't even begun to roll, and they were already fast asleep, Hero wrapped in John's arms like a child's teddy bear, happier and more content than she ever remembered being.

~oOo~

Year Twelve:

Bea was adamant that she didn't need a New Year's kiss. "It's stupid and it perpetuates the idea that relationships are the ultimate path to happiness for every person which is just wrong."

Hero, nevertheless, kind of wanted one this time. And she knew from whom she wanted it to come. This was a new year, a new beginning, and she wanted a new boy. Not that she didn't like all the old boys, Ben and John and Pedro were such staples in her life that she didn't know who to be without them.

But Claudio was a breath of fresh air, a boy with a heart as light as the bubbles that people were now blowing into the air. The clock started to count down from ten, and she spotted him across the room, standing alone. She pushed her way through the crowd as the numbers grew smaller, as January 1st grew closer.

3-2- She noticed Ben's lips already on Beatrice's and laughed a little at her cousin's former rant, wondering at the chances that this would change anything.

1- She pulled herself up so her lips met Claudio's, and he leaned a bit down to help her, and kissing him really did feel like a brand new start. Behind him, she vaguely heard the beginnings of a fight between Bea and Ben.

"No I'm starting a video blog this year!" Bea declared.

"Well I thought it first," Ben shot back.

"No you didn't; you're literally just copying me. Hero, tell Benedick that I was telling you about starting a vlog like a whole month ago."

Hero pulled herself from Claudio, laughing. "Maybe I should go deal with that," she giggled, slipping into the crowd.

John watched her from the opposite side of the room. He'd kissed Cora at midnight, but it wasn't her lips he still felt like he could taste. Maybe that was wrong; maybe he shouldn't be taking advantage of her. But really, she seemed pretty damn capable of making her own decisions, and John figured there was nothing he could really do to fuck her up more than she'd already done to herself.

Maybe messed up people just came together. The world made more sense that way. Heros deserved Claudios, and Johns deserved Coras, and nobody had to get hurt.  
That was his New Year's resolution, he decided. He wasn't going to hurt anybody by sticking around. He'd keep to his own people, and let Hero enjoy her normal life without his toxic influence.

~oOo~

Year Thirteen:

Hero was surprised by the face at her door: he'd been avoiding her since the picnic. Even at the last party that Dukes and Donaldsons held together, he'd been very careful to keep as far from her as possible. So why now?

"Can I come in," he asked awkwardly, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Of course, John. You're always welcome." She brought him to the living room, running briefly to the kitchen for a plate of cookies. As if that would fix anything. When she returned, he seemed even more uncomfortable than before, twisting his hands and sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Would you feel better in my room?" she asked, knowing him well enough to understand that he generally preferred as much privacy as possible. He nodded weakly, and she led him upstairs, locking the door behind the two of them. He sat down at her desk, looking so terrified that she couldn't help but ask, "Is everything okay?"

"I should be asking you that," he responded, "after I so thoroughly fucked up your entire life." He ran his hand through his thick hair.

"It's fine, John. That was months ago."

"But I hurt you," he argued. "I hurt everybody I go near. I'm team evil after all."

She tried to force a laugh, but it wouldn't come. "Why are you here John?" she finally asked.

But he didn't answer, saying instead, "Y'know what's funny? Last year, I promised myself I'd stay away from you, so that I wouldn't hurt you. What a mess that turned out to be."

Some sort of gleam in his eye, some desperate tone in his voice, had Hero's fear racing. "John, what are you doing here?"

Still he dodged the question. "And when I ran away, I was going to kill myself. I was ready except I just kept thinking about how that would maybe hurt you more. And it's insane. I mean, you're good and cheerful and perfect. I'm just John Donaldson." By now, Hero was crying because all she would have needed was for John to say he wasn't okay and she would have helped in a heartbeat. To know he had felt so isolated.

He laughed a harsh chuckle. "Turns out I love you more than I hate myself."

And she had so many things she wanted to tell him, how she was far from perfect, how even after all the events of the past year, after hiding so people would finally hear her and learning to be okay with sharing her story, she still felt like she did back before year nine. How she was living a constant battle between hiding and letting herself be seen. How she was 99% sure that Hero Duke was as much a lie as Pedro Donaldson had turned out to be.

Instead, she asked him again, "Why are you here?"

He shook his head, glaring at the ceiling as if fighting back tears of his own. "I don't know. I just didn't know where else to go."

And her arms were around him, maybe needing his embrace as much as he needed hers. She'd missed this, missed the familiarity of his cotton t-shirts and his soft cologne and the way her head rested perfectly against his chest.

"I'm sorry," was all she said for a long time, and it wasn't all he needed to hear, but it was something at least.

When John and Hero walked into Ben's goodbye party together, the world felt like it was returning to exactly how it was supposed to be again. Nobody even gave them a second glance at first, because the two of them together looked far more natural than the two apart.

When they did start getting odd looks, it was only because John finally had a smile on his face, as Ben jokingly commented at the end of the night.

Bea just laughed and wondered whether the Dukes just had a thing for British boys. Hero didn't bother blushing, though John's face seemed to turn a couple shades darker.

And for a couple hours, he felt okay. Or like maybe at least, he would be okay soon.

~oOo~

"This is goodbye," Hero announced, leaning against John despite the blazing heat and the fact that the picnic blanket had plenty of space for them to be apart.

"We've still got months before Uni even starts," John laughed, reaching for a cookie.

"Yeah, but this is the end of a whole era of who we are."

He gently ran his fingers through her soft hair. "I think I'd rather it be over. Turn over a new leaf and everything."

She nodded, untangling herself from his arms so that she could face him for real. "And what's on this other leaf," she asked.

As answer, he leaned in so his lips met hers, allowing himself to really enjoy it this time, to enjoy their softness and their strawberry flavor and the way he could feel her smiling against his mouth.

He felt like smiling too.

"Hopefully, a lot more of that," he broke away long enough to answer.


End file.
